Yesterday, I had to make an important decision and end a friendship that had become toxic. The friendship I had to end was with my writing partner so the novel we worked on together will never be complete. I honestly wanted the friendship to work, but it had just become extremely unhealthy and there were so many other factors that made that friendship as bad as it was at the end. It sucks that it had to happen but at this point my mental health was more important than the friendship. Toxic friendships are the worst! You want it to work so badly but all it is actually doing is making you cry all the time while also feeling like there is a weight constantly pressing against your chest . As soon as I ended it I felt like I could finally breathe again. It is a bittersweet feeling because a cool friendship had to end but I honestly had to do what was best for me.
I guess the message of this post is that it is okay to walk away. If you are in a friendship or relationship with someone and it is constantly bringing you down, then it is time to let go. No one is worth the unnecessary tears and stress. If it were healthy and they honestly cared then you wouldn’t be feeling the extreme amount of negativity everytime you are around them. It may be hard at first but in the end you have to do what is best for you and let them go. Only then can you set yourself free and allow more positivity to flow into your life and writing.
Until Next Time Everyone!
I graduated from Texas A&M Commerce last Saturday (the 13th) and I just wanted share what I was feeling with y’all. I transferred there three years ago and the Hall of Languages quickly became a second home to me. Dr. Adkins, Dr. Jacobs, and Dr. Roggenkamp helped me improve my writing while also causing my love of literature to evolve. It was a magical and important time in my life and I am sad that it is now over, but now it is time for me to make them proud. I am taking this year to finish my book and return the Fall of 2018 for the Graduate Program. If I am ever feeling lost while taking this daring adventure, I know that I can visit Texas A&M Commerce and know that my old professors will gladly welcome me home.
I also need to give a shout out to my mentor from Eastfield, Professor Buck! Without her guidance, I wouldn’t have built up the courage to really chase my love of literature~
I can’t wait to share the world I created with everyone and I am excited to post on here again!
I know, it has been a while since I have posted on my lovely blog. Good News! I am back from my little hiatus and I plan on being more active with my posting schedule!
A lot has happened since I have posted on here in December:
I tried to start a fancy paid blog and I hated it so that is over.
My anxiety had been acting up since my major attack last May and around late January I decided that I was tired of being paranoid and crying everyday due to me feeling like I was always stressed and that the world was against me, so I finally went to the doctor and they helped me tremendously.
Because of my little meltdown, my schoolwork and writing life fell out of balance and to be honest I felt like I was losing control of my life so I had to get that balance back.
Everything is ok now! I have been on my medication for almost three months and I have finally regained control over my emotions and have rediscovered the balance between school and writing again! To be completely honest, I feel rejuvenated , like I have regained my sanity and I am kicking myself of not doing this years ago. Since I am no longer stressing out, panicking, or feeling paranoid 24/7 , I can officially say that I am back! I can’t wait to share my musings with y’all!
Sorry I have not been so active this week! I was hit by a rather nasty bug but now I have fully recovered and have come to share my recent adventure with you all! Today, my friend and I went and visited an indie bookshop and an indie comic book shop in Dallas and it was a good way to relax and even get inspired. The arts district we went to was full of murals, local shops, and interesting food places so we spent about 3-4 hours walking around and exploring.
Pirate Update: I went and got a blank book to write all the pirate dream ideas in so I can figure out just how much I want to write it. The pirate idea was constantly on my mind while I was stuck in bed from the virus so I am now trying to create an interesting world for these dream characters.
NaNoWriMo has officially ended and I am feeling torn. I feel accomplished for participating but at the same time I am a little upset I did not meet my word count! I had issues with my anxiety and it kept me away from the computer for a while but now I am back and more determined than ever to get some writing done! Another thing that has hindered my progress is a dream I had a few nights ago. This dream involved masks, pirates, magic, and a dance with a dangerous foe that could have easily been compared to a thrilling chess match. Ever since I had this dream I have been enthralled by it! I want to know more about these mysterious characters and their world. Every time I try to go write my main project I get swept away by the thought of the mysterious pirate that had a knack for fire magic and I am taking this a sign that I should put some work into fleshing them out before I make any major decisions. I have fallen in love with the idea of pirates before but due to certain complications that did not work out and I just recently moved on from having to give up that kickass idea only to have my heart stolen again by the idea of writing the pirates from my dream. We shall see how this works out!
It has been over a week since I last posted and that is because I spent a week at Big Bend National Park in South Texas! There is no internet and barely any cell phone service down there so it was a way that I could focus on nature, family, and my writing! Before the trip I felt like my life was a beautiful chaos, I was struggling with my word count and work load but being away from everything really helped me reset and really appreciate the beauty that lies in nature. Sometimes it is important to step away from everything and just appreciate life and take a moment to breathe. This trip was helpful in so many ways: I read several books, I worked on my novel, and I knitted a scarf without getting too frustrated (I always make the stitches too tight). I recommend that everyone takes some time to step away from technology and embrace the calming serenity of life and use the time to reflect. I think I am going to take an hour every day and dedicate it to stepping away from technology and really relax and breathe.
Big Bend National Park is truly magnificent! We were camping in the Rio Grande Village which is in the desert region but you could drive fourty-five minutes and end up in the Chisos Mountains! It was like being in some fantasy world, the landscape was surreal and it really inspired me. Most of the photos I took will end up in my world bibles at some point!
I am also going to include some of my favorite pictures and moments that I captured from this grand adventure below!!!!
I am writing an update on my NaNoWriMo journey so far. The first week has ended and I have very little to show for it. I am determined to write my heart out to catch up and stick to my set writing routine. My arch nemesis, writer’s block, came to visit for the first four days of NaNoWriMo and I had to battle it in order to get any work done at all.
I also have to write more so if I fall behind during my camping trip, I will atleast have a word cushion to fall back on.
NaNoWriMo starts in three days! I am doing the last bit of prepping today along with some homework that I have been putting off. One of the things that I have done is create a cover photo to upload to my NaNoWriMo profile. This surprisingly took me an extremely long time because I wanted to create something that I would proudly display on here and my social media accounts while I conquer this NaNoWriMo.
Here is the one I made:
I know it is simple but at the same time it is striking and it reminds me of the novel. Another thing that I am working on today is adding more concept art to the world bible which will allow me to play around with water colors. Today is just an overall creative day for me! I think having creative days like these really help when it comes to preparing for your novel and keeping it fresh on your mind. It also is an excellent way to relax and be productive at the same time.
I am excited to announce the reward I am going to give myself once I write the 50,000 words and become a NaNoWriMo winner. It took me a while to decide on what I wanted but then it hit me, I have always wanted a tattoo. This tattoo would be symbolic to me because it would symbolize me being able to sit there and type out 50,000 words. I can’t wait to achieve this goal and get a kickass tattoo! Writing is a commitment and I usually have an issue staying on task but I am determined to conquer this beast and completely dedicate myself to writing this novel that I have been working on for awhile now~
NaNoWriMo starts six days from now! I am both excited and nervous. I am excited because I am passionate about my novel and I love writing it, but at the same time I am nervous because I have a hard time staying on track with things. This year will be different because I am determined to actually meet the 50,000 word count this year. This is so exciting!!! I can’t wait to share my progress with y’all!
I wish you luck on your literary journey and I will post another update tomorrow!